I didn't want to do this episode, but I've been thinking about this conversation since the March 16th attack in Atlanta. I grew up with deeply internalized ideas around making myself as small as possible - apologizing profusely for taking up space, waving away offensive comments, telling people "I'm fine" when I'm hurting inside, prioritizing other people's comfort over my own, using a smile to cover up hurt.
In this episode, I share a glimpse into a specific year in which I shrunk my being so much my very spirit shattered. Trevor asked me what I would do differently, or what I wish I had known then....and honestly, it's a work in progress. I'm STILL working on unbottling myself, being loud about what I want, and being ok with taking care of my needs.
This episode is by no means an explanation or breakdown of anti-Asian hate, the hypersexualization of Asian women, and the surge of hate crimes all over the country. If you are looking to learn more, I have found these Instagram accounts incredibly helpful to listen to. These folks have put a lot of their soul out there, and it's been healing to witness how they model vulnerability, care, and taking up space.